Confidential Confidence

 In looking back over past entries, I write in a very casual, blithe manner about being a naturist.  Am I really one of these liberated, uninhibited persons?  In my wildest dreams, I never imagined the day would come in my life when I would join a social gathering wearing nothing more than a smile.  I never thought about or had the desire to be a naturist for the majority of my life.  I was presented with a circumstance that forced my hand somewhat into an introduction to the naturist life.

Granted, it didn't take me long to feel okay with it.  I would have felt a lot more gung ho from the beginning had I felt better about how I looked.  For some time after my baptism of fire, so to speak, I steadfastly maintained that I revisited the state of undress for my husband's sake alone.  At some point something changed for me and I realized this was something I was doing for myself as well, but why?  What do I get out of being a naturist?

I have mentioned previously in other entries the need to feel comfortable and secure to be able to come forth and stand naked among other people.  These people seemed to be supremely confident and happy with themselves.  For a great many years of my life, I lacked confidence in myself.  When I began to experiement with naturism, something very interesting began to happen.  For the first time in my life I felt a sense of empowerment.  I already confessed it was necessary for me to get into better shape physically before I could feel truly comfortable naked.  This is not necessarily so for others I've since met. 

Becoming a naturist caused me to feel a sense of awe towards my female body; more so than I'd ever felt before.  I began to really like the way my body looked.  We're all so critical of ourselves~our own worst enemy.  Adopting a naturist lifestyle has allowed me to grow in terms of self-esteem which has affected other facets of my life.  I am more secure with who I am as an individual.  I've become more vocal and assertive in my workplace.  Naturism has brought these strengths to me.  If I can mingle socially with naked folks, I can do just about anything.  It's a powerful rationalizer.  Admittedly, this is a unique way to acquire these traits but different methods work for different people and the lucky ones are simply born decisive and confident.

It is said that we must love ourselves in order for others to love us.  I believe this to be true.  Naturism makes me feel like a person worthy of love and respect.  It makes me feel more like a member of the family of man than anything I've yet to encounter.